Am I worthy? Am I seen? Do I matter?

We are unique, while intimately connected. I believe we are all unique pieces of a kind of “conscious puzzle”.

You matter. Your voice matters. Your presence matters. You, the ever-evolving you, matters.

Many people reacted to it and that got me thinking how much we need to know and feel that we are seen, that we are worthy and that we matter.

According to Dr Shefali (clinical psychologist world-renowned for her revolutionary approach to conscious parenting), there are 3 main questions we seek to answer since birth:

Am I worthy?

Am I seen?

Do I matter?

When we are in the uterus, our whole environment supports an unquestionable YES to these questions.

Once we leave that all abundant and safe environment, we try to make sense of the outside universe. We attach a meaning to every experience and that meaning adds or withdraws from the worthiness, being seen, and significance accounts. We then look for evidence to support what we start believing as true. The unconscious conclusions we make about who we are, then have a direct impact on how we live our lives. Feelings of unworthiness, frustration for not being seen and thinking we don’t matter, in any degree, limit and block the level of authenticity with which we reveal ourselves to the world.

It is as though our meaning-making machine created layers and layers of lies about us not being enough just as we are. About us not having anything really special to offer this world. About us having to mimic someone else, comply with someone else’s expectations, make extravagant efforts and even burnout if necessary, in order to prove ourselves enough. This all creates great suffering, struggle and prevents the world from having the privilege of knowing each and every one of us as the miracle we are.

Some of us have more layers of lies than others, but the more I understand this, the more I want to get rid of mine and help others do the same. Regardless of how unworthy, not seen, or insignificant, I may sometimes feel in some areas of my life, I am absolutely convinced that we all have something unique to contribute. I full-heartedly believe that the faster we all get to shine and collaborate from that uniqueness, the more in flow and joy we will live and the faster we will get to solve the complex problems that burden humanity today.

P.S. This piece is a work in progress. I would love to continue the conversation with anyone interested, so please leave your comments below or PM me. I’m reflecting deeply on this matter while writing my book (soon will tell you more about it).